WHY TALK TO A GRAVE?

Last week, I posted a documentary on Nollywood ace, Nkiru sylvanus on Igboist (BY Maria Ude Nwachi). Of the about 2k comments, hundreds of people had something demeaning to say about the post and I the poster. A lot complained what use the article was and how jobless could I be to be parading another person's story on social media?


The Next day, I posted another documentary on the same platform but this time, it was of a late Nollywood Veteran, Sam Loco Efe. There were over 1k comments and replies under the post, all expressing sadness, admiration and love for the deceased actor. Not a single person attacked me or queried the essence of the post.


I don't know whether to call it hypocrisy on our part or what to make of it. I've read that the only blameless man is a dead one, still why do we prefer talking to the dead than the living? On a personally conviction, why do people get overly emotional when death is a topic?


I don't subscribe to that school of thought that is against speaking ill of the dead. If I don't find it hypocritical, I find it foolish, extremely stupid to demean the living at the expense of the dead.

Recently, a young lady reportedly committed suicide and for a while, my Whatsapp status and Facebook news feed were pregnant with eulogies of her. Hundreds of tribute with her pictures littered everywhere.


It was then that I got to see some of her works shared by her supposed friends. It turned out that some close people to me personally knew her yet, as a struggling poet looking for a ground to stand on, none of her works crossed my part while she was alive while I was harassed with a hundred of them after her death.


None of her friends found her works worthy enough of being showcased about while she was alive but suddenly they had heightened zeal to share her works and talk about her when she died. How good she was. How strong she was. How much of a fighter she was.


The same thing happened during the tragic end of one promising Akachi. Today, a lot of Facebook people still have Akachi sitting on their profile as their DP. To what end?


You are busy sharing works and photos of celebrities unsolicited while neglecting the people around you. You really don't owe anybody any care in the world, but people like me find it annoying and embarrassing when you start acting the caring entity towards them when they die.


When you'll suddenly start dusting your gallery in search of a photo where two of you might have mistakenly appeared together or a conversation that happened eons ago so you can come here and tell lies that will sooth your conscience.


Why do we have so much to say about the dead but the living? Why would we rather talk to a grave than to the next person standing before us? Is it ego...or is it our ego that's blocking the way?


I really don't know how to play this extreme game of pretext that will have me wailing at the death of someone I really didn't care about. I don't know how to do it. I'm either talking about you while you live or I'm not talking about you when you die.


If you're beautiful, I'll tell you.

If I admire you, I'll let it be known or it would end at that.

If your works are good to me, you deserve to know or I would never pretend they were good just because you've beat me to that journey of no return.


Over the years, I've learned to appreciate the people in my life. Learned to look them in the eyes and tell them stuff. Just like everybody, I've been hit by the death of loved ones and I've realized that talking to the grave does nobody any good.


If I haven't said something nice to you, or done something fine for you, may our parts cross.

I celebrate the living. Not just the dead.